Some of the many tributes to Helena Bell we have received
My dearest Helena,
My tribute is in the form of a letter to you. I’m sorry but I cannot comment on you as if you’re not there anymore. My brain refuses to accept that just as firmly as my heart refuses to believe it, so please allow me to keep up my pretence for a few more days yet…
The post office sent back a get-well card that I sent you when I first heard that you were in a hospice. I kicked myself. That terrifying news had knocked my breath out for a bit – until I gave myself the usual pep talk and convinced myself that nothing can touch you. Like Wordsworth, I was fooling myself.
“She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly years”
You looked hale and hearty when we last met. That was on the second press night for King Troll. I sensed the stress though and the strain of things: trying to run a company and a production, both upfront and behind the scenes.
Not just a pretty face, I remember thinking, the first time I met you. Circa 1992. You had traced my address and came to get permission to adapt a short story of mine for your Brighton based company, Alarmist. But when we met, both you and your partner-in-crime at the time, Stephen Plaice, decided to commission me. It was exciting for me.
The newness in the experience for you was that you were trying to connect with your Indian heritage, which you had recently become aware of. That ended up as a trip to both India and Pakistan. The Lahore Zoo, where the story was set, turned out to be closer to reality than I could have expected. Not only was the gatekeeper’s name Hussain, his wife was attractive and very like the woman I’d imagined. We were both thrilled to meet her. I do believe that this trip had a huge impact on you and your work, my dear Helena.
You were not quite ready to concede to the South Asian component of your identity until much later. When I left Kali, I begged you to take on the Artistic Director role, but you kept saying it needed someone South Asian. Years later, when you were ready for the role, we could see where your empathy and your heart lay.
That first production with you, of The Gatekeeper’s Wife, taught me so much about theatricality and performance. It was a proper education in the art form. I think you have that rare combination of a strong visual imagination and a subtle understanding of characters, of meaning and dialogue that make you a real gift for a professional playwright. No wonder you could successfully lay the groundwork for Discovery.
Alongside your professional excellence, you possess all the fine personal qualities people have raved about on social media since news of your illness and worse became public. Your courtesy and warmth, your compassion and empathy, your charm and modesty, your generosity and your integrity, your politics and your courage – they have described them all. So, we can all be proud of you, my dearest friend. You are that rare artist, who is totally unselfconscious and non-egotistic, never vying for credit or praise. YOU never needed it – you got all your joy from the work itself.
Helena, you gave me and my family so much love and affection; we are all shaken by the news. I will continue to treasure every birthday card, thank you card and good luck card that you unfailingly sent to me and apologise for any occasions that I missed. I suspect I owe you more than one and will now remain indebted forever, my dearest friend and collaborator. I shall do my best to settle my account in some other way.
Rest in peace. Much love and farewell, dearest Helena.
Rukhsana Ahmad
Writer & Kali Theatre Founder
I remember clearly the first time I met Helena – when she came for her interview at Kali Theatre. She was impressive, had given the role a lot of thought, and had worked hard to present a compelling vision for the company. She got the job!
What we perhaps didn’t fully realise at the interview was just how amazing she was as a person. She created an environment where the writers, the actors, the directors, and everyone involved, were a family. She created a safe place, where all Helena wanted was to selflessly make others successful and confident. Helena was constantly thinking of others; she was always positive; she was firm but nurturing; she had great artistic vision; and she allowed writers time to grow.
Kali is bereft at her passing, but so grateful that she was with us for 9 years. She was a great friend to me and to the board, and I will miss her terribly. My sympathies to her loving and supporting family. RIP my friend.
Alison MacFadyen
Kali Theatre Chair
We have lost one of the kindest, generous, spirited and hard-working people I know. Cancer is a cruel and capricious disease. No one deserved this less than Helena. I shall miss her great sense of humour and ready laughter, her extraordinary intuition about people and their work, and her capacity to truly care about the people she worked with, making everyone’s contribution feel valued.
Rest in peace, my dear friend.
Chris Corner
Kali Theatre Executive Director
I will miss nattering over cups of tea… hearing about your garden… crying with laughter about an inappropriate typo that one of us had made, the 4pm biscuit breaks – “ooo, is it time for the 4pm tea trolly?”, 5pm biscuit breaks, 5:30pm biscuit breaks, your advice, your encouragement, your kindness, your care, your joy. You let little things fill you with joy, so I did the same. Moments were treasured. Nothing was taken for granted. Two years working with you has been an absolute honour. I am a better writer and a better, more compassionate, joyful, confident person because of you.
Rest in peace dear friend Helena. Go well x
Nicole Latchana
Writer & Kali Theatre Administrator
Helena was an outstanding Artistic Director for Kali. Her perception as an artist, an interpreter and a guide came from heart and mind together. It was a rare gift that made her talent special for actors, writers, all who worked with her and for audiences too. We were lucky to have her. Her presence radiated warmth, humour and goodwill and the beauty of her generous smile said so much. I love her and will never forget her.
Penny Gold
Kali Theatre Board Member
Since I got to know Helena when she first became Artistic Director of Kali my appreciation of all that she shared grew deeper and deeper over the years. As a board member of Kali, keeping updated on all the developments artistic and otherwise for the company has always been imperative in ensuring Kali’s long term future and with Helena’s insightful direction and thoughtful judgement, I always felt well informed and equipped. Her artistic direction and leadership meant that Kali, as our vision aspired to, was able to encourage South Asian women to explore their creativity, imagine, write, produce new thoughtful, inspiring work that was produced throughout the country, opening up new cultural vistas and experiences, previously never supported for development. It was both a pleasure and a privilege to work with Helena as her presence always brought joy, camaraderie and solidarity and I will always feel extremely grateful to have known her and to have worked with her as a gifted artistic director.
Jocelyn Watson
Kali Theatre Board Member
When I think of Helena, I see her dazzling smile lighting up a room, and I hear her laughter – a joyful sound that filled the air with her warm presence. Her passionate love of ideas and the stories she told at the Kali board meetings , sometimes in such vivid detail that we teased her, carried an aroma of fresh inspiration. She had a knack for making each person feel as though she were speaking directly to their heart. I will miss her so much.
Shivani Mathur
Kali Theatre Board Member
In the short time that I knew her, Helena’s grace, compassion and generosity of spirit made her one of the people I always looked forward to meeting. Our interactions were mostly professional, but the personal friendship blossomed naturally due to her willingness to embrace everyone with her beautiful smile and joie de vivre. She will be much missed by all her friends at Kali. Rest in peace, my friend.
Vinika Rao
Kali Theatre Board Member
A most beautiful soul who has left us too soon. The heartbreak of her loss is deeply felt and her spirit will never leave those of us lucky enough to have known her, personally and professionally. A unique artist, Helena inspired and encouraged, always helpful and generous with her time despite all the demands that were put on her. She led Kali to new heights and was admired for her dedication and professionalism. Alongside this she always showed warmth, humanity and an abundance of decency. Helena was creative while also being nurturing and unegotistical, which is a rarity in the arts. And outside of work she was playful and fun and no doubt she’s smiling on us now. Until we meet again, beloved friend and colleague.
Shiroma Silva
Kali Theatre Board Member
A dear friend, a true artist and facilitator through and through – always giving and caring… and with such delight and laughter.
My love to you, Helena, for all your friendship, caring and love.
Isobel Hawson
Kali Theatre Development Consultant
It is not often that words fail me but in this moment, I find myself grasping for the right words to make meaning out of this tragedy. I imagine you saying the failure of words is not good enough – you must find them and use them. We must and we will.
I find the grammar of grief difficult – switching from “you are” to “you were” so I will stay in the present tense for now. Kindness comes to you and from you easily. You are a colleague, a collaborator, a co-conspirator, a chum. Knowing you has been one of the greatest privileges and pleasures of my working life.
Thank you for everything you taught me, for the words we wrought together and for the meaning we made. If everything is story, then yours is a great one – of family, of friendships, of plays and press nights, of large glasses of red wine at said press nights, of learning, and of love. I’m just heartbroken by this story’s end.
With words we met and with words we say goodbye.
Atiha Gupta
Writer
Dearest Darling Helena,
A light has gone out in theatre. The kindness has gone out. You were glorious. You are glorious and I will love you forever.
Nessah Muthy
Writer
So much to say, as Helena brought so much to those around her. I have had my most satisfying creative experiences working with her. She never once told me what to write, or how to write it – she only showed me how to say what I want to say better. Helena, or Foxy Helena, as I loved to call her (and which always enticed a ripple of that wonderful laughter), was the best of people and a very precious person in my life. I love her millions and miss her dearly – but I will always be so grateful to have had the honour of working with her.
Naylah Ahmed
Writer
I have so much gratitude for you. I hope I have said that enough. You brought a light to creatives like me in an industry that can often feel dark. You’re talented, kind, generous and always a joy to work with. Thank you for sharing that with us all. Thanks to you, Kali Theatre gave me one of the best experiences of my writing career.
Yasmin Whittaker-Khan
Writer
Helena’s kindness, courage and commitment to artists – to them, their work and freedom of expression – was rare, always going above and beyond personal taste or fluctuating industry fashion. It meant so much to so many.
A cherished friend, mentor and respected colleague, who always gave a generous welcome and an even more gleeful laugh. So, to say this in past tense cannot feel real yet, because these qualities will long live on in those who had the honour of knowing her. I am, and will always be, grateful for our chats about family and Helena’s support in this as much as in supporting artists to make the work that matters to them.
It isn’t necessarily the loudest whose legacy lives longest. You are loved. May your conviction in artists, care, and unending curiosity carry ever forward. Helena, thank you. My deepest condolences and love to Helena’s family and her Kali family and friends.
Nic Wass
Dramaturg
Shortly after Helena’s passing, I was at my relatively non-theatre job checking in with my coordinator. She asked how I was. I said I had been devastated by the recent death of a dear friend, mentor and creative collaborator, who was a theatre AD. Without pausing, she said, ‘Helena?’ She had spent much time working with Helena in her early Brighton theatre days until parenthood and work separated them.
I met Helena soon after my coordinator lost touch with her, working with her at both Pursued By A Bear and Kali. We spent over an hour connecting those two halves of Helena’s life through our own blessed time and experiences with her. We hugged, mourned, lauded, laughed, loved her and held her close, as we can from now on – even as we deeply miss the thought of us three sharing time and memories together. Like so many, I’ve been heartbroken and bereft at her loss. But even in her passing, her love spreads far and near. It truly felt like she was still weaving her creative magic – and bringing those who loved her closer together.
A selfless champion for creatives and storytellers, Helena led Kali Theatre with such vision and rare integrity. Endlessly giving, she was the most generous, gentle, sensitive and beautiful of souls. How I cherish our Kabaddi days and beyond together, kicking up creative dust in the Akhara of theatre.
My deepest sympathies and condolences to Grant, Jake, family and friends, the Kali family, and the theatre world beyond. Helena’s loss is immeasurable, but she nurtured a feisty, determined community of creatives who will ensure her spirit and creative flame will continue to burn bright.
In deep gratitude, eternal love, light and kabaddi strength, love you Helena, always.
Satinder Chohan
Writer
Helena was the kindest and most supportive director that I have worked with. I always picture her with a beautiful smile on her face and hear her laugh. As director of Kali, I felt that she really supported all of us writers and did her best to help us along our ways. We will all miss her.
Bettina Gracias
Writer
Thank you for being the kind, gentle wonderful person you are. thank you for your faith in me and having my first ever show in London, and many others like me. We stand on the shoulders of women like you and we owe you gratitude for the paths you pave for us. I think of you often and fondly and you will always be the person who believed in me. I wish you gentleness and light.
Deepika Arwind
Writer
Dearest Helena ,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for every opportunity you have given me & every bit of unconditional belief, support, championing & love you have provided for me as an emerging artist , South Asian woman & person.
Working with you has been invaluable and every moment & conversation had with you and spent at Kali I will remember , cherish and keep with me for the rest of my professional and personal life.
You have been a driving force for change, representation and elevating important voices and stories for south Asian women and others through your incredible work and have left an everlasting mark on our sector. Your legacy lives on through those of us who’ve had the privilege of working with and learning from you.
Thank you , Helena.
Natasha Kathi-Chandra
Director
Helena was truly welcoming and generous, always embracing us into the wider Kali family. She exuded warmth in every encounter and we were struck by the grace she showed as artistic leader, seamlessly shaping the future of Kali, while embracing and celebrating its rich legacy and past. She amplified so many voices and touched the lives and hearts of so many people. Her unflinching dedication to championing complex and multi-layered stories ensured that Kali’s plays were always refreshing and provocative. We will always remember her smile on Press nights at the NT, as we ‘women of a certain age’ huddled in a corner in animated conversation over a glass of wine, celebrating the moment! With heavy hearts, we will cherish these memories forever. Our hearts go out to her family and friends.
Suman and Sudha Bhuchar
Bhuchar Boulevard
My dear friend and colleague drew me in when I felt ambiguous and unsafe in the theatre world at a testing time. It was a breath of fresh air working with her on Discovery over the years. I have made lifelong friends through the artists I met on that scheme and was tuned in to the world of new emerging diasporic work through this. I am forever grateful to Helena for affording me with this opportunity. I have the best of memories working with her on this.
We did Kali Solo’s together and she was a fantastic incisive dramaturg and director. I come from a poetry background and we discussed my lyrical writing and the naturalism that works on film. When I entered writing for TV I was more informed in discerning what is theatre writing and screen writing as a result of that work with Helena.
She curated an amazing symposium to explore key issues facing women playwrights of South Asian descent. She afforded me and others a critical space to discuss working class South Asian writers. Something I believe theatre continues to overlook. I loved and appreciated her so much for this.
She was a quiet incisive force. The best people are. Rest well dear Helena.
Emteaz Hussain
Writer
If I had to describe Helena in one word, it would be warm. She exuded the most genuine, heartfelt and kind warmth. The first time I met her in person she greeted me with her signature sunny smile and a big, warm hug, and it felt like my soul had known hers for much longer than it actually had. Helena was the first industry person to believe in my writing. Without her, and her unwavering belief in me and my work, I would not be where I am today. The last time I saw her, she kissed my cheek, gave me a hug and told me she was excited to see how I develop as a writer. Her presence in the audience of my future work, as my mentor, and as a warm friend will forever be missed. Thank you for everything, Helena.
Amrita Manku
Writer
I really thought the world of her, such a gorgeous, kind, supportive person.
Iman Qureshi
Writer
The world feels a little dimmer without your light. I will never forget the first day I met you, after you took on the role of Artistic Director at Kali Theatre. You’d hired me for a week of workshops, and I turned up an hour late after sleeping through my alarm! Frazzled and stressed, I legged it to the Albany, and you greeted me with such a warm smile that I felt instantly at ease. In that moment, I felt the deep kindness of your soul – how generous of you to forgive my tardiness so quickly. What followed was a day of laughter, exploration and storytelling, and that set the tone for all the time I knew you.
Thank you for all that you did and all that you were. I wish I could have shared with you how much your encouragement and belief in me meant. You touched me deeply, and I will miss you so much. The world has lost a beautiful soul, but your light will continue to shine in the hearts of those you touched. Rest in peace, dear Helena.
Komal Amin
Actor
I feel so lucky to have known and worked with Helena. She truly was an extraordinary and special person who simply exuded warmth, joy and kindness. Helena always brought such a positive energy and optimism to every situation, and somehow found the time to make each of us feel supported, encouraged, and surround our little company with love. She made all our lives brighter with her sweet smile and good cheer. Dear Helena, you will be so deeply missed.
Tania Rodrigues
Actor
Helena and I first met in the sunny garden of The Albany to chat about the design for Homing Birds – I was struck immediately by her incredible warmth and generosity of conversation. Over the years since then I have loved working with her and all at Kali, and was privileged to have continued to be asked back time and again. Helena had a wonderfully nurturing and kind soul and introduced me to worlds and people I would never otherwise have had the chance to meet. I will miss her very much.
Helen Coyston
Set & Costume Designer
Helena was our champion. Organisations like Kali give people their first ever chance, their first jobs – when you’re not really anybody, they see you. And that has changed the course of so many people’s lives. So many South Asian women and people including me were given their some of their firsts by Kali because of Helena. She gave us access, trust & heart. I will forever be thankful for this and forever be thankful for Helena Bell.
Neetu Singh
Director
Helena was a mentor, a colleague and over time, she became a friend. I deeply value and treasure her influence and presence in my life. She was a champion for so many people and voices. It is difficult to find words adequate to describe the sadness that must be felt by so many. Helena, you are one life’s dearest souls. This earth was better for your life and we will continue to honour the pearls you have given us, now that you are no longer here. Thank you Helena. May your spirit and your soul continue to shine.
Suzanne Ahmet
Actor
Helena, was an abundance of colour – swathes and blooms of deep blues and hot reds. She was other kinds of abundance too – in her company you felt special, loved. I can hear her laughter, magical and naughty, at innuendos and titbits of double entendre (remembering her appreciation for Orton). She was a mermaid, she loved to swim, like the ocean, expansive in affection and generosity. A rare creature of wisdom and discretion. I’m remembering too her delight in a second-hand shop find, a new woollen dress, another set of pretty china cups. Helena had a sense of style – in the old days, she sported head-wraps. And then I remember the miraculous release of long dark hair, just round about the time she met Grant… And then there was Jake! Chris and I gloried in his amazing arrival, meeting the tiny bundle in Highgate, so so precious. Helena was a passionate and tenacious supporter of new writing and writers; always wise counsel, she had a genius for fostering artistic collaborations. The sense of loss of this glorious creature is not just personal to us. With love to a matchmaker made in heaven.
Sophia Lovell Smith
Designer
I loved working with Helena, her warmth and generosity were infectious. She made so many made artists feel empowered and opened doors for people who did not have other wise had such opportunity. She will be sorely missed.
Cara Nolan
Curve Theatre
She was like sunshine. Always so supportive of others. Always beaming. Full of love. Full of heart. This feels like a huge injustice. She was the best of us.
Zainab Hussain
Actor
Helena is one of a kind, the most deeply generous and keenly understanding person I’ve met. My heart goes out to her family, and the KTC team who have worked so closely with her over the years. She will be sorely missed by all of us across the industry who have been nurtured, supported and believed in by one of the best.
Jo Tyabji
Director
Helena left a strong impression as such a kind, passionate woman. I felt instantly warmed by her presence.
Dominic Holmes
Actor
Wonderful soul, gorgeous friend and favourite co-Director. I have learnt so much from you, in that joyous and generous way you have. This, however, is the biggest and most painful lesson I am learning now, how to be in this deep and silent absence of you.
I miss you so incredibly and it pains me to read Kali plays without you. I ache for the plays we have yet to work with, techs yet to happen. The meals, conversations and laughter, I so long to share with you. Though there is a little voice with me when reading scripts, saying ‘a cut there, what do you think?’ and I smile, there you are.
I’ve heard about Quiet Leadership. With you I saw that in action, with grace and diligence which lives strongly through the many brown gals, that have all had you down as their reference! You’ve built a community that I wonder if you know about? We stand with a touch of your love brushed into each of us. I hope we continue your incredible work in a way that paints pictures, with you always playing a cameo role.
I miss you. I love you. I will continue to encourage people to say your name the glamorous way, with a touch of Bristolian undertones.
Trina Haldar
Director
I first met and worked with dear Helena on the production Kabaddi, Kabaddi, Kabaddi. I loved the detailed way in which she worked and immediately I knew I was in the hands of a talented director. Since 2012, Helena has been a friend who has constantly supported me. I felt over the years that she has offered me enormous generosity and love. Everyone I meet who knew her says the same. She was just a genuine beautiful soul. I miss her already. The loss is colossal. And if I’m feeling this way, I can only imagine the pain her family must be feeling right now. I send you my deepest condolences and my prayers.
Asif Khan
Actor & Writer
Helena was always so very kind and generous. She radiated warmth and was such a caring and interesting person. I always looked forward to her arriving at the techs, bringing her positivity and supportive energy.
Neill Brinkworth
Lighting Designer